Challenging Assumptions blog by Wendy Priesnitz

 

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books to support unschooling by Wendy Priesnitz

Musings, meanderings, wonderings and wanderings about unschooling, natural  parenting, green living, social justice and more by writer, author and Natural Life magazine editor Wendy Priesnitz. 

Archives - March, 2009

Why Trusting Kids is So Hard – March 29, 2009
A woman called me the other day in tears. She misses Life Learning magazine (now part of Natural Life) a lot because it helped her trust her children to learn. Why is trusting children so hard? Why do we find it so difficult to trust them to learn, to eat properly, to develop “good manners” (meaning to treat others mindfully), to generally do the right thing? Trusting kids isn’t popular in our society. We “know” that they can’t make their own decisions, that they won’t say “thank you” unless we teach them to, that they’ll grow up to be slobs unless we bribe them to do “chores.” (That word “chores” is a topic for another day.)

I think it’s because we don’t trust ourselves and, therefore, can’t trust our children.. And that’s because our parents and our teachers didn’t trust us. After all, society says children aren’t trustworthy, and that they are loud, inconsiderate and uninterested in learning about the world around them unless forced. Growing up, most of us weren’t allowed to make our own decisions – what to wear, what and when to eat, whether or not we were cold, what friends to have, what to learn, to participate in family decision making. We were managed, not trusted. We were dictated to, not allowed to think. Then, as we became young adults, our parents and teachers worried about us – not realizing that their lack of trust and the resulting control had ill-prepared us to make our own decisions. In the end, their lack of trust became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Most of us broke out of that, learned from the mistakes we made. But many of us have spent a lot of time and money on therapy, retreats, workshops and self-help books in order to learn to trust ourselves. And, when we find it hard to trust our children, we are passing along the legacy of our upbringing and schooling.

Those of us who have decided there is another way need to be sure the pattern doesn’t get repeated. We need to give our children the message that they know what is best for them, and that we are available to help and guide them if they are confused...and ask for our help. By choosing life learning, we have chosen to protect and encourage their ability to live their lives with joy and the knowledge of who they are. We can listen to and treat them with respect. We can model self-respect, mindfulness and care for others. But we also need to be kind to ourselves as we walk the alternative parenting path, remembering that trusting kids is not something that we’re programmed for.
Posted: 2009/03/29 9:43 AM

Still Cynical – March 27, 2009
I have had some response to my Earth Hour post, below. The score at the moment is four five people praising me for my courage in writing it, one person thanking me for food for thought, and two people saying I should be ashamed of myself. Thanks for weighing in. But I am still cynical. Aside from the results of a gazillion companies sending out press releases to say they will be turning out their lights and therefore are green, today’s papers feature articles about glow-in-the-dark bedspreads so you can find the bed after you turn off the lights, Earth Hour Survival Kits (“at romantic prices”), the perfect perfume to wear to an Earth Hour celebration (I am not making this up), petroleum-based scented candles galore and postcards, buttons, ties, aprons, bumper stickers (how ironic), posters, stamps, bags, mugs, greeting cards (non-electronic), keychains,  pens.....  Oh, and did I mention the Official Earth Hour products that are for sale? Buying them supposedly helps us show support for Earth Hour “without compromising modern day living.” Now there is a loaded phrase! Does it mean that someone in Toronto can continue to drive their SUV to the corner store for a plastic container of imported strawberries in January? Does it mean that someone in New York can fly to Arizona to play golf on a course kept lush with imported water and numerous pesticides? Will buying a hoodie with Earth Hour silkscreened on the front or a squeezable plastic panda flashlight lower carbon emissions?  Shopping might get us out  of a recession but it will not cure climate change. And that is my problem with Earth Hour 2009. Anyway, if you are going to participate, please burn soy or beeswax candles with a few friends and family...or just go outside for a walk and enjoy the darkness. Just don’t create a traffic jam in the process.

Posted: 2009/03/27 3:01 PM

Symbolism is Powerful…But – March 25, 2009
Earth Hour, which coming up this Saturday evening, is symbolism. And symbolism can be powerful. But it only works if it turns into action. And action on climate change is past due. Pardon me if I’m skeptical – some who’ve been listening to me rant this week would say “cynical” – but I’m, well, skeptical and maybe cynical.

The hype is hyper. And it’s driving me nuts. The talk in some places is about “celebrating” Earth Hour. Pardon me, but there’s precious little to celebrate. Here in Canada, our political “leaders” are moving in the opposite direction from solving the climate change problem, gutting what environmental laws we do have. So I don’t think they’ll be paying any attention to the symbolism of people turning out their lights for an hour, even if WWF’s target of one billion participants worldwide is met.

WWF admits that Earth Hour is a symbolic event and is publicizing it as a vote for climate change action. It says, “Turning off our lights for an hour won’t stop climate change but it does demonstrate that our individual action is important and adds up to make a big difference. More importantly, it sends a very powerful message to government and world leaders that people want policies and regulations put in place that can achieve meaningful emission reduction to help fight climate change.”

I very much hope those leaders are listening. Action is urgent: In December, world leaders will meet in Copenhagen to try to establish an international agreement for controlling greenhouse gasses. This meeting must result in a commitment to a fair and ambitious climate deal. However, it’s not as simple as watching people turn out their lights for an hour in March, then saying, “Oh, yes, we must regulate industry and we’re all in agreement!”

The first Earth Hour, three years ago in Australia, was a brilliant (so to speak) idea. The second one was a wonderful community-building expansion worldwide. But this year’s Earth Hour might be one too many. It has degenerated into a meaningless Earth Day-type of feel-good exercise that has taken on a life of its own. As such, I fear that it’s paradoxically in danger of losing its focus on individual action (which has been a hallmark of my work and of Natural Life’s editorial for 30 years) and attracting a lot of greenwash. And if that continues, my cynicism could be catching, which would make the event backfire big time. The PR firms are working overtime as usual, but what is particularly disturbing to me is the way ordinary people seem to have gone so far off-track. Last year, I wrote about people driving downtown in their SUVs to “celebrate” Earth Hour. But this year, there was the newspaper article describing how one high profile environmentalist will be drinking wine and relaxing with friends in front of the gas fireplace…hope the electric fan is turned off. Or how about the Toronto VIPs who are dining by candlelight at the top of a downtown office tower…hope they plan to walk up. But they have to go, because they’d be Earth Hour Grinches – seen as unconcerned about the environment – if they sent regrets. Then there’s Earth Hour Canada, which is offering one lucky participant a trip to visit the polar bears in Churchill, Manitoba…courtesy corporate sponsors Frontiers North Adventures and Sears Travel, which is donating airfare (there’s a frivolous use of carbon if I’ve ever seen one). Not sure what corporate sponsor Coca Cola is donating.

Cynical, maybe. Turning off my lights on Saturday evening, sure. Neither will change the course of events much. We need to turn the symbolism into action. Quickly. And I can’t help but wonder if the time, energy, community and money could be better spent to that end.
Posted: 2009/03/25 6:48 PM

Saving Money and Helping the Environment – March 23, 2009
Going green is often a way of saving money. We
ve just announced a Natural Life contest. Were inviting readers to share tips about living green and frugally with readers: Inspire others to save money by conserving resources, or by thinking about economics in a different way. We'll publish the tips in future issues of Natural Life magazine and on the website . . . and one random participant a month until the end of 2009 will win a copy of Natural Life's Healthy Homes – the first book in our new Natural Life Magazine Green Living series (to be published later this Spring). Details are here.
Posted: 2009/03/23 4:45 PM

The Value of Real-World Experience – March 19, 2009
Interesting article the other day in The New York Times about how some analysts are wondering if the way business students are taught may have contributed to the current economic crisis. Aside from the suggestion that business schools are turning out graduates with a limited understanding of ethical and social considerations, there seems to be a growing concern that they are too detached from real-world issues, too dependent on packaged curriculum and too eager to provide students with quick, formulaic solutions to complicated problems. According to the article, some employers and recruiters are even questioning the value of an M.B.A. and are telling young people they can get better training on the job than in business school. Life learning…what a concept! Oh, and the article quotes a study that found M.B.A. students cheat more on exams than those in other disciplines! Hmmm.

Posted: 2009/03/19 5:30 PM

Defining Normal is Not Brain Science – March 13, 2009
Brain research is an exciting science, helping us to understand what makes humans – well – human. And Canadian brain scientists recently announced the culmination of an eight-year effort to connect crucial brain protein with the power to learn. A Toronto research team discovered that this single protein, which helps brain cells communicate with each other, results in learning impairments when it is missing or malfunctions. At the same time, they have discovered that a medication, now being tested in Alzheimer's patients, may fix the problem. Not surprisingly, the announcement was accompanied by excited speculation – including from some of the neuroscientists making the discovery – that so-called “learning disabilities” could one day be “corrected” with this drug.

Okay, but exactly which “disabilities” would be “corrected?” While this discovery might be a blessing for some people, who would decide which part of the estimated 10 per cent of the population that has a “learning disability” would be treated with this drug? Probably the pharmaceutical industry-influenced doctors who now eagerly turn active kids into zombies with Ritalin. I’ve written many times (and published many similar articles by other people) that most things that are called learning disabilities are not medical conditions. They are simply behaviorial issues caused by environment and personality, or differences in the way people’s brains are wired. With these people, the problem lies not with how they learn but with the school environment that is trying to teach them inappropriately and can’t (or won’t) adjust to their needs. The system focuses on children’s problems, rather than on their strengths, and labels many kids as sick who simply aren’t ready to learn to read, rather than being unable to do so. The result is, of course, a huge toll on self-esteem, which spirals the problem downwards. There is a chilling danger in drugging everybody who doesn’t learn “normally” – especially when “normal” is defined by a school system.
Posted: 2009/03/13 5:30 PM

Business That's Small, Local and Personal – March 7, 2009
A certain website recently refused to accept a review copy of one of our books because we don’t sell on amazon.com and they therefore wouldn’t have an opportunity to earn their affiliate commission if they reviewed it. I have to wonder about the editorial integrity of websites (or magazines) that only report on things from which they make money, but that is just one of the effects of those massive, centralized, deep discount retailers. And that’s why I don’t sell to or buy from them.

One of the sustainability-focused foundations of our philosophy of doing business and living life is to help foster local self-reliance. Another thing that’s important to us is that small is beautiful. And a third is that the personal is political.

So whenever possible, we support local small businesses rather than large, faceless corporations. Independent booksellers can’t compete on price with the mega bookstores, online or otherwise. And often, people will take advantage of the local store’s great customer service and knowledge of books to choose titles, then go save some money online.  Amazon is huge (one-quarter of the US market) and getting larger all the time. It recently took over the British Columbia-based used and rare bookseller AbeBooks and also now owns a number of other companies, including Chrislands, which helps booksellers – including those who like to think they’re independent – create their own websites. The U.K.’s Independent Booksellers’ Network calls it “Amazon Eats the Bookselling World.”

I can’t fault anybody – especially these days – for trying to save a few dollars. But the independent retailers, book publishers and even authors and readers suffer from deep discounting. Like other businesses, many book publishers – even the big ones – are hurting these days, with some postponing their Spring lists, others laying off staff and a few hanging on by their fingernails. I fear that the continuing race to the bottom created by the demands of the mega retailers will ultimately mean fewer and poorer quality books published.

But wait a minute, you say. Most small and self-publishers need amazon and their ilk to sell books, even if they’re treated poorly. And many of the bloggers who review books are running small, often home-based and mom-run, businesses and depend on the affiliate revenue to pay their bills. Fortunately, there are alternatives. For instance, the American Booksellers Association (whose membership has plummeted to about 1,800 members from more than 4,000 15 years ago) recently created a book-linking feature called IndieBound that bloggers can use to point purchasers to local retailers, as an alternative to being an amazon affiliate. And my company? Well, we avoid amazon.com and its international cousins (you will see some of our books listed there, but that’s without our permission). We are keeping it small, local and personal. We love selling directly to our customers online via our own websites. (We’d rather save you the shipping charges than give a deep discount to amazon). And we sell to independent bookstores. (You’ll probably have to special order from your local store, but I think the wait is worth it. We have a slow food movement; maybe we now need to think about slow books!)

Sustainability is an interconnection of cultural, social, economic and environmental practices. It means taking care of where you live…and part of that involves building strong communities, with healthy, locally-owned businesses that sell good products at fair prices.

(Oh, and don’t ask me about the magazine distribution business – my rant would fill a book instead of this already-too-long blog posting. Let’s just say we’re working on bringing that one home.)
Posted: 2009/03/07 4:05 PM

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copyright © Wendy Priesnitz 2009

Topics & Passions

life learning / unschooling
simplicity
environment
natural parenting
creativity / writing
books

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Monthly Archives

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What I'm Reading

Weapons of Mass Instruction by John Taylor Gatto (New Society Publishers, 2009)
Hot, Flat and Crowded by Thomas Friedman (Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 2008)
A Woman's Book of Life:  The Biology, Psychology and Spirituality of the Feminine Life Cycle by Joan Borysenko (Putnam's, 1996)

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What I'm Listening To

Sacred  Ground by Spirit Keepers (Intuitive Sound Productions, 1999)
Dear Heather by Leonard Cohen 
(Sony BMG, 2004)
Messin' Around by Molly Johnson (Anthem, 2006)
Frank's Wild Years by Tom Waits (Island Records, 1987)

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Fav Bookmarks

Daughter Blog
The Mother/Daughter Project
TED: Ideas Worth Spreading
Organic Consumers Association
Grist
We Are What We Do
Free Rice
Mothers Movement Online
Personalised Education Now
Foundation for a Better Life

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Fav Quotes

Art, Writing, Creativity
Life and Living
Men and Women
Learning
Environment and Peace