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Archives
- March, 2009
Why Trusting Kids is So Hard – March 29, 2009
A woman called me the other day in tears. She misses Life Learning magazine
(now part of Natural Life) a
lot because it helped her trust her children to learn. Why is trusting children
so hard? Why do we find it so difficult to trust them to learn, to eat
properly, to develop “good manners” (meaning to treat others mindfully), to
generally do the right thing? Trusting kids isn’t popular in our
society. We “know” that they can’t make their own decisions, that they
won’t say “thank you” unless we teach them to, that they’ll grow up to
be slobs unless we bribe them to do “chores.” (That word “chores” is a
topic for another day.)
I think it’s because we don’t trust ourselves and,
therefore, can’t trust our children.. And that’s because our parents and our
teachers didn’t trust us. After all, society says children aren’t
trustworthy, and that they are loud, inconsiderate and uninterested in learning
about the world around them unless forced. Growing up, most of us weren’t allowed to
make our own decisions – what to wear, what and when to eat, whether or not we
were cold, what friends to have, what to learn, to participate in family
decision making. We were managed, not trusted. We were dictated to, not allowed
to think. Then, as we became young adults, our parents and teachers worried
about us – not realizing that their lack of trust and the resulting control
had ill-prepared us to make our own decisions. In the end, their lack of trust
became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Most of us broke out of that, learned from the mistakes we made. But many of us have spent a lot of time and money on therapy,
retreats, workshops and self-help books in order to learn to trust ourselves.
And, when we find it hard to trust our children, we are passing along the legacy
of our upbringing and schooling.
Those of us who have decided there is another way need to
be sure the pattern doesn’t get repeated. We need to give our children the
message that they know what is best for them, and that we are available to help and
guide them if they are confused...and ask for our help. By choosing life
learning, we have chosen to protect and encourage their ability to
live their lives with joy and the knowledge of who they are. We can listen to
and treat them with respect. We can model self-respect, mindfulness and care for
others. But we also need to be kind to ourselves as we walk the alternative
parenting path, remembering that trusting kids is not something that we’re
programmed for.
Posted: 2009/03/29 9:43 AM
Still
Cynical – March 27, 2009
I have had some response to my Earth Hour post, below. The score at the moment
is four five people praising me for my courage in writing it, one person thanking me
for food for thought, and two people saying I
should be ashamed of myself. Thanks for weighing in. But I am still cynical.
Aside from the results of a gazillion companies sending out press releases to
say they will be turning out their lights and therefore are green, today’s papers
feature articles about glow-in-the-dark bedspreads so you can find the bed after
you turn off the lights, Earth Hour Survival Kits (“at romantic prices”), the perfect perfume to wear to an
Earth Hour celebration (I am not making this up), petroleum-based scented
candles galore and postcards, buttons, ties, aprons, bumper stickers (how
ironic), posters, stamps, bags, mugs, greeting cards (non-electronic), keychains,
pens..... Oh, and did
I mention the Official Earth Hour products that are for
sale? Buying them supposedly helps us show support for Earth Hour “without
compromising modern day living.” Now there is a loaded phrase! Does it mean
that someone in Toronto can continue to drive their SUV to the corner store for
a plastic container of imported strawberries in January? Does it mean that
someone in New York can fly to Arizona to play golf on a course kept lush with
imported water and numerous pesticides? Will buying a hoodie with Earth Hour silkscreened on the front
or a squeezable plastic panda flashlight lower carbon emissions? Shopping might get us out of a recession but it will not cure climate
change. And that is my problem with Earth Hour 2009. Anyway, if you are going to
participate, please burn soy or beeswax candles with a few friends and
family...or just go outside for a walk and enjoy the darkness. Just don’t
create a traffic jam in the process.
Posted: 2009/03/27 3:01 PM
Symbolism is Powerful…But – March 25, 2009
Earth Hour, which
coming up this Saturday evening, is symbolism. And symbolism can be powerful.
But it only works if it turns into action. And action on climate change is past due.
Pardon me if I’m skeptical – some who’ve been listening to me rant this
week would say “cynical” – but I’m, well, skeptical and maybe cynical.
The hype is hyper. And it’s driving me nuts. The talk in
some places is about “celebrating” Earth Hour. Pardon me, but there’s
precious little to celebrate. Here in Canada, our political “leaders” are moving in the opposite direction from solving
the climate change problem, gutting what environmental laws we do have. So I
don’t think they’ll be paying any attention to the symbolism of people
turning out their lights for an hour, even if WWF’s target of one billion
participants worldwide is met.
WWF admits that Earth Hour is a symbolic event and is
publicizing it as a vote for climate change action. It says, “Turning off our
lights for an hour won’t stop climate change but it does demonstrate that our
individual action is important and adds up to make a big difference. More
importantly, it sends a very powerful message to government and world leaders
that people want policies and regulations put in place that can achieve
meaningful emission reduction to help fight climate change.”
I very much hope those leaders are listening. Action is
urgent: In December, world leaders will meet in Copenhagen
to try to establish an international agreement for controlling greenhouse
gasses. This meeting must result in a commitment to a fair and ambitious climate
deal. However, it’s not as simple as watching people turn out their lights for
an hour in March, then saying, “Oh, yes, we must regulate industry and we’re
all in agreement!”
The first Earth Hour, three years ago in
Australia, was a brilliant (so to speak) idea. The second one was a wonderful
community-building expansion worldwide. But this year’s Earth Hour might be
one too many. It has degenerated into a meaningless Earth Day-type of feel-good
exercise that has taken on a life of its own. As such, I fear that it’s
paradoxically in danger of losing its focus on individual action (which has been
a hallmark of my work and of Natural Life’s editorial for 30 years) and
attracting a lot of greenwash. And if that continues, my cynicism could be
catching, which would make the event backfire big time. The PR firms are working overtime as usual, but
what is particularly disturbing to me is the way ordinary people seem to have
gone so far off-track. Last year, I wrote about people driving downtown in their
SUVs to “celebrate” Earth Hour. But this year, there was the newspaper
article describing how one high profile environmentalist will be drinking wine
and relaxing with friends in front of the gas fireplace…hope the electric fan
is turned off. Or how about the Toronto VIPs who are dining by candlelight at
the top of a downtown office tower…hope they plan to walk up. But they have to
go, because they’d be Earth Hour Grinches – seen as unconcerned about the
environment – if they sent regrets. Then there’s
Earth Hour Canada, which is offering one lucky participant a trip to visit the
polar bears in Churchill, Manitoba…courtesy corporate sponsors Frontiers North
Adventures and Sears Travel, which is donating airfare (there’s a frivolous
use of carbon if I’ve ever seen one). Not sure what corporate sponsor Coca
Cola is donating.
Cynical, maybe. Turning off my lights on Saturday evening,
sure. Neither will change the course of events much. We need to turn the
symbolism into action. Quickly. And I can’t help but wonder if the time,
energy, community and money could be better spent to that end.
Posted: 2009/03/25 6:48 PM
Saving Money and
Helping the Environment –
March 23, 2009
Going green is often a way of saving money. We’ve just announced a
Natural Life contest. We’re
inviting readers to share tips about living green and frugally with readers:
Inspire others to save money by conserving resources, or by
thinking about economics in a different way. We'll
publish the tips in future issues of Natural Life magazine and on the website .
. . and one random participant a month until the end of 2009 will win a copy of Natural
Life's Healthy Homes – the first book in our new
Natural Life Magazine Green Living series (to be published later this Spring).
Details are here.
Posted: 2009/03/23 4:45 PM
The Value of Real-World Experience – March 19, 2009
Interesting article the other day in The New York Times about how some analysts
are wondering if the way business students are taught may have
contributed to the current economic crisis. Aside from the suggestion that
business schools are turning out graduates with a limited understanding of
ethical and social considerations, there seems to be a growing concern that they
are too detached from real-world issues, too dependent on packaged curriculum
and too eager to provide students with quick, formulaic solutions to complicated
problems. According to the article, some employers and recruiters are even
questioning the value of an M.B.A. and are telling young people they can get
better training on the job than in business school. Life learning…what a
concept! Oh, and the article quotes a study that found M.B.A. students cheat
more on exams than those in other disciplines! Hmmm.
Posted: 2009/03/19 5:30 PM
Defining Normal is Not Brain Science –
March 13, 2009
Brain research is an exciting science, helping us to understand what
makes humans – well – human. And Canadian brain scientists recently
announced the culmination of an eight-year effort to connect crucial brain
protein with the power to learn. A Toronto research team discovered that this
single protein, which helps brain cells communicate with each other, results in
learning impairments when it is missing or malfunctions. At the same time, they
have discovered that a medication, now being tested in Alzheimer's patients, may
fix the problem. Not surprisingly, the announcement was accompanied by excited
speculation – including from some of the neuroscientists making the discovery
– that so-called “learning disabilities” could one day be “corrected”
with this drug.
Okay, but exactly which “disabilities” would be
“corrected?” While this discovery might be a blessing for some people, who
would decide which part of the estimated 10 per cent of the population that has
a “learning disability” would be treated with this drug? Probably the pharmaceutical
industry-influenced doctors who now eagerly turn active kids into zombies with Ritalin.
I’ve written many times (and published many similar articles by other people)
that most things that are called learning disabilities are
not medical conditions. They are simply behaviorial issues caused by environment
and personality, or differences in the way people’s brains are wired. With
these people, the problem lies not with how they learn but with the school
environment that is trying to teach them inappropriately and can’t (or
won’t) adjust to their needs. The system focuses on children’s problems,
rather than on their strengths, and labels many kids as sick who simply aren’t
ready to learn to read, rather than being unable to do so. The result is, of course, a
huge toll on self-esteem, which spirals the problem downwards. There is a
chilling danger in drugging everybody who doesn’t learn “normally” –
especially when “normal” is defined by a school system.
Posted: 2009/03/13 5:30 PM
Business That's Small, Local and Personal – March 7, 2009
A certain website recently refused to accept a review copy of one of our books
because we don’t sell on amazon.com and they therefore wouldn’t have an
opportunity to earn their affiliate commission if they reviewed it. I have to
wonder about the editorial integrity of websites (or magazines) that only report on things from
which they make money, but that is just one of the effects of those massive, centralized, deep
discount retailers. And that’s why I don’t sell to or buy from them.
One of the sustainability-focused foundations of our
philosophy of doing business and living life is to help foster local
self-reliance. Another thing that’s important to us is that small is
beautiful. And a third is that the personal is political.
So whenever possible, we support local small businesses
rather than large, faceless corporations. Independent booksellers can’t
compete on price with the mega bookstores, online or otherwise. And often,
people will take advantage of the local store’s great customer service and knowledge of
books to choose titles, then go save some money online. Amazon
is huge (one-quarter of the US market) and getting larger all the time. It recently took over the British
Columbia-based used and rare bookseller AbeBooks and
also now owns a number of other companies, including
Chrislands, which helps booksellers – including those who like to think
they’re independent – create their own websites. The
U.K.’s Independent Booksellers’ Network calls it
“Amazon Eats the Bookselling World.”
I can’t fault anybody
– especially these days – for trying to save a few dollars. But the
independent retailers, book publishers and even authors and readers suffer from deep discounting.
Like other businesses, many book publishers – even the big
ones – are hurting these days, with some postponing their Spring lists, others
laying off staff and a few hanging on by their fingernails. I fear that the
continuing race to the bottom created by the demands of the mega retailers will
ultimately mean fewer and poorer quality books published.
But wait a minute, you say. Most small and self-publishers
need amazon and their ilk to sell books, even if they’re treated poorly. And
many of the bloggers who review books are running small, often home-based and
mom-run, businesses and depend on the affiliate revenue to pay their bills.
Fortunately, there are alternatives. For instance, the American Booksellers
Association (whose membership has plummeted to about 1,800 members from more
than 4,000 15 years ago) recently created a book-linking feature called IndieBound
that bloggers can use to point purchasers to local retailers, as an alternative
to being an amazon affiliate. And my company? Well, we avoid amazon.com and its
international cousins (you will see some of our books listed there, but that’s
without our permission). We are keeping it small, local and personal. We love
selling directly to our customers online via our own websites. (We’d rather
save you the shipping charges than give a deep discount to amazon). And we sell
to independent bookstores. (You’ll probably have to special order from your
local store, but I think the wait is worth it. We have a slow food movement;
maybe we now need to think about slow books!)
Sustainability is an interconnection of cultural, social,
economic and environmental practices. It means taking care of where you
live…and part of that involves building strong communities, with healthy,
locally-owned businesses that sell good products at fair prices.
(Oh, and don’t ask me about the magazine distribution
business – my rant would fill a book instead of this already-too-long blog
posting. Let’s just say we’re working on bringing that one home.)
Posted: 2009/03/07 4:05 PM
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