Challenging Assumptions blog by Wendy Priesnitz

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Musings, meanderings, wonderings and wanderings about unschooling, natural  parenting, sustainable living and more by Wendy Priesnitz. 

Archives - January, 2008

New Magazine Baby is Born – January 29, 2008
The last few weeks have been hectic around the Life Media office, as we added the production of a third magazine into our schedules and systems. Finally, late Sunday evening, we sent off the electronic files to the printer for all  three magazines. That includes the first issue of our new Natural Child magazine. We are very excited about this new bimonthly magazine because it has been a gleam in Rolf’s and my eyes for many years...almost since Natural Life’s launch in 1976. You can have a look at our new baby – a low-resolution PDF preview is available for viewing at Natural Child magazine’s website.  We should have copies in our hands by the end of next week. Then the mailing process begins, and that takes a couple more weeks. Magazine publishing is a lot of hurry up, then wait!

Please feel free to share the link with anyone you think would be interested in this magazine. The interest has been huge so far and we anticipate the first issue will sell out.
Posted: 2008/01/29 3:10 PM

Finding Our Tribe – January 16, 2008
I’ve never been comfortable identifying myself as a “homeschooler” or an “unschooler”…or, for that matter, as a “life learner,” although I’ve fit the definitions for over three decades and am a bona fide advocate for all of the above. It’s just that I have a hard enough time being “the person who’s learning to be human”! I’ve also never been comfortable with other categories of self-description like “environmentalist” or “feminist,” although I probably fit into both of those too…in some ways. And that’s the problem: Part of being human is having an individual identity and not slotting oneself into various categories ending in “ist” or “er” or “ism” and filled with millions of other people. In fact, all that wearisome slicing, dicing, slotting and labeling is one of the aspects of school that I’ve ranted against for all these years!

Since we need descriptive words in order to converse among ourselves and to communicate about our lives with others, I’ve at least tried to find terminology that is, indeed, descriptive (such as “life learning”) and positive while not limiting what is, after all, a very fluid approach to living, learning and parenting. Still, discussions about the definitions of the myriad categories – and how one fits into them or not – always leave me feeling a bit uncomfortable. There will be one in the March/April issue of Life Learning magazine, which I’m just finalizing: In her “Talking About Life Learning” conversation with Sandra Rakovac, New Zealand mother Lishelle de Young talks about the difference between “radical unschooling” and “unschooling.” When I took this topic of language to our Reader Advisory Panel, someone pointed out that such terms are used more or less in various countries, and perhaps even have slightly different meanings in different places. Aarrgghh.

But as I’ve thought more about this, I’ve realized that describing ourselves and our families’ lives through the use of such words is not about labeling, one-up-manship or peer group pressure. It’s about finding our tribe. It’s about identifying with like-minded people in a world of other-minded ones. In addition to our strong need to establish a unique persona, we human beings also have an equally strong desire to be accepted, to be among people who understand our choices, who accept us as we are, without reservation, and who support us on our journey.

The need to identify and to be identified by a supportive community is especially intense when our journey follows a lightly trodden path, when we are taking risks. The need for nourishment from such a group of like-minded people is probably also stronger when we’re living in nuclear families, isolated at home with very young children or feeling the lack of the status that society unfortunately gives to those who go to jobs.

The Internet has helped many people find their tribes. And I’m pleased to know (because so many of you take the time to tell me) that Life Learning magazine has, over the last five years, become such a community. It no longer matters to me how you label it.
Posted: 2008/01/16 8:20 PM

Bleached Green – January 15, 2008
Yesterday I received a press release from the Sierra Club announcing a new line of “natural” cleaning products produced by Clorox, the chlorine bleach manufacturer. (Although you’d never know it to hear Clorox executives talk, chlorine is a highly poisonous gas used in wars and a devastatingly toxic pollutant that is implicated in a bunch of nasty environmental problems like depletion of the ozone layer, global warming and acid rain.)

Now, I have been wondering if this environmentally unfriendly company was trying to wrap itself in a stylish cloak of green ever since it bought out uber-eco body care manufacturer Burt’s Bees a few months ago. And, sure enough, it’s just come out with a line of “natural cleaning products” called Green Works. But why is Sierra Club – which has, in the past, joined lawsuits seeking to clean up chlorine – telling me about Clorox’s new product line?

“The Green Works line will make it easier and more affordable for Americans to buy eco-friendly products,” according to Carl Pope, the Sierra Club’s Executive Director. “The Sierra Club is excited to help influence the buying behavior of millions of Americans [it will be available in Canada too] who want to do the right thing by purchasing safer products. People are out there looking for solutions, and we’re eager to give a giant kick-start to the market for green, affordable household cleaning products.”

Up until now, says the Sierra Club, “a big stumbling block for families who want to live a greener lifestyle has been the high cost of ‘green’ products and the fact that they are not always easy to find.” Well, I’ve been cleaning quite effectively with lemon juice, baking soda and vinegar for 35 years and have found them to be neither expensive nor difficult to find.

According to Sierra Club/Clorox, Green Works is “99 percent natural and made from ingredients derived from coconuts and lemon oil, and contains no phosphorus or bleach. The products are formulated to be biodegradable, non-allergenic, packaged in bottles that can be recycled [which is no different than any other cleaning product] and not tested on animals.” There is no word as to whether or not Clorox is going to stop animal testing its bleach and other toxic cleaning products, or stop making bleach or remove toxic ingredients from its other products. But to its credit, the company uses the relative term “environmentally-preferable” in addition to the over-used and unregulated “natural” (chlorine is “natural”) and it does list its ingredients (including the one percent non-natural ones) on its labels.

I’m happy that one of the major manufacturers is seriously recognizing the growing market for responsible products (sales of natural cleaning products rose by 23 percent between 2006 and 2007, according to SPINS, a market research and consulting firm for the natural products industry).…and I am even willing to consider the possibility that this could be an indication of a permanently raised consciousness on the part of Clorox (although I see no evidence yet). But – aside from Clorox’s other non-green products, its current motives and whether or not Green Works is a quality product – I’m very unhappy that a major environmental organization has compromised its independence and integrity by entering into this branding partnership: In exchange for Sierra Club’s endorsement (name and logo on the label!), Clorox will be providing “support for Sierra Club’s efforts to preserve and protect the environment,” which translates into an undisclosed fee based on sales. Now, Sierra Club has always been pragmatic, encouraging companies that do the right thing, like when they issued a press release in 2005 congratulating Ford for creating a hybrid SUV. But unless they’re setting themselves up as a certification agency with clearly published standards (and I see no evidence of that either), accepting royalties on sales in exchange for their logo on the label is selling out big time in the name of greenwash. As a journalist, I will now be wondering what’s behind every new Sierra Club press release that I receive. Or maybe I should tell them to stop bothering to clog up my in box.
Posted: 2008/01/15 11:36 AM

Stuck Going to School – January 14, 2008
A number of people have sent me links to a short news item from last week about a ten-year-old Mexican boy who tried to prolong his Christmas break from school by using industrial-strength super glue to attach his hand to the headboard of his bed. Paramedics and police had to be called to unstick him. “I thought if I was glued to the bed, they couldn’t make me go to school,” the boy, Diego, told the Agence France-Press (AFP) news service, which carried the story worldwide. “I didn’t want to go; the holidays were so much fun.” His mother, on the other hand, was quoted as saying, “I don’t know why this happened. He is a very good boy.”

Most media outlets ran the item as a cute little story about boys being boys and how silly of this boy to think he ultimately wouldn’t have to attend school. (Most versions of the piece ended with him going a few hours late.) But there are a number of homeschoolers in Mexico and the boy doesn’t have to go to school. Too bad that he had to go to such extremes to stay home. Too bad he was ultimately forced to go if he didn’t want to go. Too bad the media didn’t look into the real reason why he didn’t want to go. Too bad most people are able to see just one way – and an antiquated, coercive, largely ineffective one at that – for kids to learn.
Posted: 2008/01/14 4:47 PM

The Harm of Not Trusting Children – January 6, 2008
You may have heard the term “helicopter parents.” It refers to those who hover over their children, worried to an absurd degree about their welfare as well as making their decisions. These parents are supposedly motivated by fear that something will harm their kids; it’s a nasty, violent, competitive world, after all. So they coddle their children, not letting them play outside without supervision; lobbying for the removal of playground equipment they feel is unsafe; trying to prevent every lurking germ known to humankind from entering their homes; swaddling every body part possible in armor while the kids learn to walk or ride their tricycles; requiring constant communication from the kids via cellphone (which has been called the world’s longest umbilical cord) and overseeing – and often participating in – relationships and social events. These parents are also involved to an inordinate degree in their offspring’s high school course choices and career and post secondary education decisions – this at an age and stage when said offspring should be able to make their own decisions, seeking appropriate advice and opinions when desired.

I don’t like war metaphors, but in a perverse sort of way, I can accept the newly coined term “Black Hawks,” after the military helicopter of the same name, which is used to describe those who cross the line to unethical behavior such as writing their children’s college admission essays. Yes, I’m told it happens. These are parents do more than hover at a safe distance; they actively intervene. Now, according to an article in the Guardian newspaper, helicopter parents are moving beyond tricycles and college exams to participating in the job market on behalf of their children. They write the resumes, go along on interviews, fight with managers about their child’s performance evaluations and try to participate in salary negotiations.

That’s not caring; it’s meddling in someone else’s life and taking away their freedom of person! And it does a huge disservice to young people because it delays maturity, lessens self-esteem, undermines self-confidence and prevents the development of problem-solving skills. Frank Furedi, professor of sociology at the University of Kent in the UK views the rise of the helicopter parent as an indicator of an infantilization of society and the blurring of the boundaries between childhood and adulthood. He says we are witnessing the appearance of “kidults” or “adultescents” – people who are biologically maturing at an ever early age (which is another issue altogether) but are treated like semi-children by families and institutions (which are cancelling recess because it’s too dangerous). Furedi should have added the billion dollar industry that has developed as marketers exploit the natural fears of new parents (with money to burn) – selling everything from those highly questionable Baby Einstein products to kneepads for crawling babies, bullet-proof backpacks and books with names like Germ-Proof Your Kids.

We need to think about the result of all this inappropriate parental control, this lack of trust in and respect for young people’s ability to learn, grow and act appropriately. These “kidults” are going to have to solve the serious economic, environmental and social problems their baby boomer parents have. If their families and their schools infantilize them in order to keep them safe – delay their development in order to allay adult anxieties – they won’t have been provided with the tools to solve those problems. They won’t even have learned how to keep themselves safe because they won’t know how to assess danger and make wise decisions.

A story on this subject in my local newspaper quotes social work professor Michael Ungar from his book Too Safe for Their Own Good, about the risk the bubble-wrapping creates for kids. Some teens, he says, robbed of the inherent need for risk-taking and testing the boundaries, seek it out in dangerous ways like delinquency, substance abuse or running away. “Too much risk and we endanger a child,” writes Ungar. “Too little risk and we fail to provide a child with healthy opportunities for growth and psychological development.”

Children learn by doing – and that means by making mistakes, whether the mistake results in a skinned knee or a wasted semester. The role of parents and the other adults in children’s lives is to facilitate that learning in developmentally appropriate ways. Are we helicoptering because we’re afraid to let go or because we’re living vicariously through our children…or do we just not know how to teach them to make their own decisions while keeping themselves safe?
Posted: 2008/01/06 3:42 PM

Lightening My Mood to Match My Footprint – January 1, 2008
The global warming warnings are getting heavier by the moment now. In response, conscientious people are responding to the growing sense of urgency by lightening up our respective footprints. And much of the rest of the world’s population – with the notable exception of North American political leaders – seems likewise engaged, if polls are to be believed. A recent BBC poll of 22,000 people in 21 countries found that four out of five people are ready to make serious changes to their lifestyles to address climate change – even in the United States and China, the world’s two biggest emitters of carbon dioxide. 

Then why is my biggest problem not lightening my footprint but my mood? I keep wondering if all the sacrifices individuals are making really matter if governments and industry don’t stop dithering. And the greenwash gets me down. A few months ago, a PR firm sent me a whole case full of water in plastic bottles sourced from a spring in Fiji…accompanied by a press release telling me how it is the first bottled water brand to go carbon negative...quite a trick if they are planning to offset all that plastic and other packaging, as well as the processing and transportation involved with providing something I can get from my own kitchen faucet. Then I read about how an eight-passenger SUV won the “Green Car of the Year” award at the Los Angeles Auto Show. California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger was quoted as drooling, “They’ve proven that they can make beautiful cars, strong cars, keep the size, keep the safety, and all those kinds of things, and at the same time be more fuel efficient.” Maybe his heart is in the right place. After all, it is Hollywood. And Hollywood, says American author, columnist and blogger Arianna Huffington, “has gone from the capital of conspicuous consumption to the cutting edge of conspicuous conservation.” 

So I’m trying to keep my senses of humor and perspective. One of the ways I’m doing that is by working on the launch of Life Media’s third periodical – Natural Child Magazine, which grew out of the Natural Child column that has been a feature of Natural Life for so many years. Starting my own family almost 36 years ago is what got me on this road to a greener, fairer world, after all. Maybe the “natural children” in my family and their peers will be able to solve the problems my generation has created. 

Another way that I’m trying to stay hopeful for the future is by writing and reading. One of the writers whose books I’ll be exploring more thoroughly this year is a Tibetan Buddhist nun named Pema Chodron. She is a teacher at Gampo Abbey in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, the first Tibetan monastery for Westerners. Her books have titles that are well suited to these times, including No Time to Lose, The Places that Scare You, When Things Fall Apart, and Start Where You Are. And what better place to begin than with a quote from the latter title: “The best gift you can give yourself is to lighten up.” 

Enjoy 2008 and keep a light heart to accompany your lightened footprint.
Posted: 2008/01/01 10:25 PM

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copyright © Wendy Priesnitz 2008

Topics & Passions:

life learning
simplicity
environment
parenting
creativity / writing
books

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Monthly Archives:

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What I'm Reading:

Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living by Pema Chodron (Shambhala, 2001)
The Real Wealth of Nations
by Riane Eisler (Berrett Koehler, 2007)
Simple Prosperity: Finding Real Wealth in a Sustainable Lifestyle
by David Wann St. Martin's Griffin, 2007)

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What I'm Listening To: 

Gold by Nina Simone (Sony Universal Music, 2007)
Mozart Concertos for Piano by Maria Joao Pires (Erato, 1978)
The Art of Romance by Tony Bennett (Columbia Records, 2004)

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Fav Bookmarks:

Daughter Blog
MIT OpenCourseWare
Radio Free School
Parenting Without Punishing
Organic Consumers Association
Free2be
Common Dreams
Grist
Just One More Book!
We Are What We Do
Free Rice
Mothers Movement Online

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Fav Quotes:

Art, Writing, Creativity
Life and Living
Men and Women
Learning
Environment and Peace